What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Have you ever been humiliated in front of a group of girls and enjoyed it?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

President Trump kicked Zelensky out of the White House. Is it over for a deal?

Make Nazis afraid again!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

If Donald Trump is so evil and Joe Biden is so good why is Trump the one selflessly providing Bibles for the needy while Biden doesn't? Why doesn't Biden care for America's spiritually needy people as much as Trump?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why did my crush like me for only two days in a row?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What is the irony of life according to you?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

My dog is 2 weeks old. He's not eating, moving and always sleeping and I can't take him to a vet. What should I do?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Can anyone or anything overthrow your belief in the Jewish God?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How can I remove decimals in math?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”